Straight
by milkychaitea
Summary: Kakashi Hatake was straight. So when he starts feeling attracted to a certain chuunin sensei,he takes it upon himself to stalk-er investigate Iruka once and for all! kaka/fem!iru mentioned gen/rai
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Straight

**Author:** milkychaitea

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. Sue me and absolutely nothing will happen.

**Warnings: **Gender-bended characters, mentioned slash, abuse of parentheses and tea. Expect ooc-ness since this is a fanfiction. May cause brain fart. Tread carefully.

**Pairing/s:** KakaFem!Iru, mentioned GenRai

**Note:** Any confusion in personal pronouns is intentional. If you are still confused, well- damn you. Just pm me!

**~ooo000ooo~**

**Chapter 1**

Hatake Kakashi was straight. Honest to goodness straight. Now, don't get him wrong, he has absolutely no qualms about _other_ kinds of relationships and people who batted for the home team. After all, shinobi lives are far too short and dangerous to worry about societal norms and nuances. How he figured out he was still straight?

Well, he still liked his Icha Icha Paradise (complete with illustrations!) and walking in on Genma and Raidou had been scarring, to say the least.

He shook his head, a frail attempt at focusing his mind, After all, he was about to go to the mission room to file a report on another successful B-rank mission. As a matter of fact, had Naruto and Sakura not abandoned him; one saying she was needed at the hospital and the other leaving due to some freakish Maito-Guy style training or whatnot; he wouldn't have never needed to come within a mile of the Mission Room, thereby avoiding all contact with...

"Kakashi-sensei!" a bright, cheerful voice called out to him, "Here to turn your mission report in?"

Ah, yes. The current bane of Kakashi's existence, the object of Kakashi's endless (dis?)comfort. The one and only Iruka-sensei.

"Ah." Kakashi tried to fight down his oncoming blush, although technically no one would even see it due to his mask. "Maa, sensei. Here it is."

If Kakashi could explode from blushing, he would have done so by now. As Iruka frowned(it was not a cute pout! Kakashi reckoned) while reading his barely legible report, Iruka's finger grazed across the horizontal scar on his face. Irr-resistable! (inner perverted Kakashi mused)

"Maa, Iruka-sensei," he began in his usual, lazy drawl, "If there's nothing else, there is an old lady in need of my assistance to cross the street..."

"Actually, Kakashi-sensei if you could..." Take me on a date, sleep over at my house, marry me, stay with me forever... Kakashi's mind was swimming with possibilities.

"...fill this form again. Your handwriting is simply atrocious! Much worse than when Naruto was in the Academy! You can send it back after two hours." Aw shucks, inner perverted Kakashi sighed. Opportunity lost.

"Ne, Iruka-sensei," enunciating his name clearly, "I was hoping this report..." lifting his badly written report with little pink Pakkun-doodles on the side and setting in front of Iruka, "...would be satisfactory to your standards. I...uh... I mean, _ahem._ I am a busy jounin, after all." He somehow felt doomed. Desperate, he went for a last ditch-pitch.

"I- I have to train Naruto?" He asked wearily, hoping to use Iruka's love for the fox-child against him. The sensei seemed to consider this, and Kakashi fervently prayed to whatever gods were up there to listen to his pleas. Iruka's temper was, after all, legendary, especially among those who frequented the Mission Room. He himself had personal experience; a plaque now adorned his hallway after being personally awarded to him by Mission Room-nin. _For being one of the rare few survivors of Iruka's Mission Room Rage (patent pending)._

After what seemed like an eternity to Kakashi but really was only a few minutes at most, he was finally set free.

_Freedom!_

Kakashi had to stop himself from doing a victory chicken dance on the way out.

**~ooo000ooo~**

Kakashi paused to stow away another tidbit of information on his ever-growing mental 'Iruka Files' as he walked a sedate pace towards his house. Yes, Iruka-sensei's weakness is Naruto, and Kakashi now knew that 'training with Naruto' was now a new plausible excuse not to hand in legible mission reports. Sixty-seven excuses as of today. _Smirk._

Now the one-eyed man happily perused his 'Iruka Files' on his way home Going over information such as how Iruka-sensei normally prefers to bring a bento to work, or how Iruka-sensei prefers to use Lavender scented shampoo ninety-eight percent of the time. Or how Iruka-sensei takes Naruto out to eat at Ichiraku's after every successful mission. You get the picture.

After arriving home and making sure Mr. Ukki the cactus was watered after his three-day absence and changing out of his shinobi gear into more comfortable clothing, he set up a couple of silencing jutsus around his house.

_Bird. Dog. Bird. Monkey. Ram._

"Kuchiose no jutsu!" Pop.

"What do you want, Kakashi?" drawled one of his most trusty nin-ken, Pakkun. "It'd better be good. No more of this nonsense! Stalking poor Iruka-sensei..."

Kakashi had the nerve to look affronted. "Oi! Pakkun! I didn't have you stalk-er engage in a surveillance mission on Iruka just on a silly whim. It was for the _safety_ _of the village_. I'm being a responsible jounin!"

Snort. Yeah right, when green panda's fly Kakashi, when green panda's fly.

Pakkun rolled his eyes. "Kakashi- you had us alternately stalk Iruka-sensei for over a month, and you found what? That the sensei likes to use floral scented laundry detergent for her clothing. Or that she likes two sugars in her tea. Which, by the way, is Ceylon tea ninety-two percent of the time." Cue more eye rolls. "The _only_ thing that needed protection was your pride and inner masculinity, which doesn't amount to much at all."

Kakashi tried to look hurt at the assault to his masculinity and overall general sanity.

"Pakkun-"

"Don't worry, your precious masculinity is still intact, Kakashi."

Kakashi gaped and went bug-eyed. Impressive for a cyclops.

"Maa, don' fret about it. You're still a man either way. Unfortunately, its not my place nor my secret to tell." and with that, Pakkun popped out, leaving Kakashi to wonder about the latest developments in his esteemed 'Iruka Files".

Kakashi had been left to ponder about Pakkun's rather cryptic message all afternoon, which continued into the night over his simple fare of eggplant-miso soup and a couple of onigiri.

_You're still a man._

Now that didn't really help much with things, Kakashi decided. After all, Genma and Raidou were still very much men... even when they were lip-locked and hugging in a dark corner in the Hokage's Tower. (The horror!) So that didn't help much. At all. So that just left the actual subject himself.(Herself? Kakakshi wasn't so sure anymore.) Then, an idea struck Kakashi.

Now this Kakashi could do. Time for a little more stalk-er surveillance. Yowza.

**~ooo000ooo~**

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!  
>All feedback and criticism will be greatly appreciated and will be replied to.<p>

Luv lots,  
>milkychaitea<br>(-_-)


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Straight

**Author:** milkychaitea

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. Sue me and the only thing you will get is a massive headache.

**Warnings: **Gender-bended characters, mentioned slash, abuse of parentheses and tea. Expect ooc-ness since this is a fanfiction. May cause brain fart. Tread carefully.

**Pairing/s:** KakaFem!Iru, mentioned GenRai

**Note:** Any confusion in personal pronouns is intentional. If you are still confused, well- damn you. Just pm me!

**~ooo000ooo~**

**Chapter 2**

It had been a long day. The little devil-children at the Academy had been their regular little naughty selves. Though Iruka had been thankful that the King and Queen of Mischief and Trouble (Konohamaru and Naruto respectively) had already graduated or else he might not have had enough energy to last until the end of his shift at the Mission Room.

Ah, yes. The Mission Room. Iruka shook his head the memories that flew by. His recent meeting with Kakashi-sensei had been interesting, to say the least. His first memory of he one-eyed man was when the Sandaime had asked for Kakashi's file when Naruto had been assigned to Kakashi's genin squad. Their most memorable meeting however, was during that infamous Chuunin exam.

Iruka's cheeks flushed red, still embarrassed about his 'little' outburst back then. No doubt his co-workers had released that story into the gossip-vine and by now it would have been legendary. Iruka could see it now, "In Honor of Iruka's First Mission Room Defeat". Complete with honorary plaque and all. Oh, if only Iruka knew.

Iruka was in the kitchen preparing for his nightly Ceylon tea (with two sugars!) when he felt a slight chakra flare just outside his house. A quick scan revealed it was friendly Konoha-nin, though Iruka could not pinpoint the exact identity. Oh well, it was probably just Pakkun again, obviously sent by Kakashi to 'gather information' as Pakkun had so eloquently put it.

**~ooo000ooo~**

_**Approximately one week ago**_

"Pakkun!" The sensei exclaimed, grabbing him by the collar to prevent the ninken from escaping, "What are you doing spying around my house?"

The poor ninken cowered under the sensei's strict 'Teacher Glare' , usually reserved for wayward pre-genin hellbent on world domination, Sort of.. Pakkun resisted the urge to bolt, and figuring that their gig was up, simply opted to come clean.

"Iruka-sensei, if you could just put me down, I'll-uh, explain." Cue choking noises. "Please?" He added weakly.

The sensei's eyes widened comically, before gently setting down the startled ninken. Apologizing profusely, Iruka set a bowl of hot Ceylon tea (with two sugars!) before Pakkun, grabbing a cupful for himself. He waited for the ninken's forthcoming explanation of his and his master Kakashi's stalker-ish (perverted!) behavior.

Pakkun took a deep breath after taking a few licks of his Ceylon tea (with two sugars!), trying to find a way to tell the sensei in the nicest possible way, of how his master had simply been alarmed over his attraction to the rather pleasant chuunin sensei.

When Pakkun had simply told Kakashi that even if he swung the other way with Iruka-sensei, all his ninken would still serve him, but Kakashi simply shook his head, indicating that it wasn't the case or the problem. Kakashi had gone off and done his own investigation (coughstalkingcough) of the sensei and had found some rather peculiar things.

Like how the sensei seemed too motherly for a real man, or how the sensei always turned down offers for dates, (Kakashi was amazed at the sheer amount, he would have to act faster.) or how the sensei had always blushed whenever he was around males under any sort of undress. (On a side note, Kakashi grimly noted that Iruka would not even blink if he was surrounded by nubile ladies. Omo.)

Now, normally, when one is faced with such startling facts, one would normally come into the conclusion that Iruka was, in fact, gay. But something smelled off tho Kakashi, literally.

For after following the sensei for nearly a week, Kakashi found something out (little genius that he is) that Iruka smelled off, like a female. His nose could not smell the tell-tale sign of a male, testosterone, and had summoned Pakkun for a second opinion.

After trying to convince Pakkun that the safety of the village was in jeopardy, (Iruka could be a cross-dressing spy for all we know!) and said ninken grudgingly agreed to gather more information about the aforementioned chuunin sensei.

Thus, Pakkun found himself caught. And yes, Pakkun blamed Kakashi's sanity and lack of faith in his own masculinity.

(Though in the sensei's defense, Pakkun thought that while Kakashi had _valid_ reason to doubt the sensei's actual gender, the Sandaime would not place his trust on some unknown foreign spy. So Iruka, in Pakkun's book, was just secretive and not dangerous. AT ALL.)

Pakkun cursed Kakashi's eccentric and anti-social behavior (he could just ask!) and not really seeing a way to sugar coat said pervert's irrational concerns, simply decided to say it outright. Sans fancy wordings.

"Sensei, Kakashi had sent me here because he has concerns about your gender. Frankly, you smell like a girl." Ouch, that had to hurt.

Pakkun waited for the inevitable outburst from Iruka, having heard legends about Iruka's infamous temper. Instead, he was faced with an eerily oppressive silence. Pakkun, not trusting himself to speak, waited for Iruka instead.

"He's right."

_What?_

"Kakashi-sensei... he's right, Pakkun-san. I- I'm female."

Pakkun had been surprised, not due to the fact that Iruka was female (the nose knows!) but due to the fact that Iruka had so readily admitted. Seeing Iruka's rather downcast demeanor, Pakkun decided not to pry on Iruka's reasons and assured him that he would not be spreading such information around. Iruka thankfully accepted the ninken's offer, and after extending an invitation to Pakkun for another cup of Ceylon tea (with two sugars!) some other time, the ninken left, making a popping noise and disappearing with the smoke.

**~ooo000ooo~**

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!  
>All feedback and criticism will be greatly appreciated and will be replied to.<p>

Luv lots,  
>milkychaitea<br>(-_-)


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Straight

**Author:** milkychaitea

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. Sue me and you will be hit by lightning.

**Warnings: **Gender-bended characters, mentioned slash, abuse of parentheses and tea. Expect ooc-ness since this is a fanfiction. May cause brain fart. Tread carefully.

**Pairing/s:** KakaFem!Iru, mentioned GenRai

**Note:** Any confusion in personal pronouns is intentional. If you are still confused, well- damn you. Just pm me!

**~ooo000ooo~**

**Chapter 3**

**_Current Day- Iruka's House**_

Iruka gingerly walked around the house after setting a bowl of steaming hot Ceylon tea (with two sugars!) for the wayward ninken, half expecting Pakkun to jump out and say Kakashi had once again ordered them to spy on Iruka again. But after searching her house twice, including the gardens (The Umino's were well known for their love of nature) Iruka had given up, thinking that the ninken would simply show himself when he was ready. (That, or the passing chakra flare was just a passing Anbu.) Thus she simply decided to have dinner and maybe spend an hour or two in a hot spring. Ah, the perfect evening.

**~ooo000ooo~**

Dinner was a rather scrumptious affair. A bowl of miso soup, soome nori with somen and topped off with a bit of takoyaki and ramen had gotten the sensei full, and so she was now making her way to the hot springs.

Genma and Raidou had recommended the hot springs a couple of months back, saying '_The hot springs near the business district are really nice. Perfect ambiance and did I mention it's totally private?' _Cue perverted giggle from Genma. _'You should go there with __**someone**__ soon, I-ru-ka."_ Cue more perverted giggles.

Iruka had been mortified, nearly fainting at Genma's perverted insinuations and had completely forgotten about it until now. Still, Iruka mused, better late than never.

After paying the required fees, Iruka headed to the nearest spring, eager to soak away her woes. While stripping herself of her mission gear and getting rid of those bandages (for you-know-what) she couldn't help shake that nagging feeling. Maybe someone, or some_thing_ had been watching. Watching her every _single_ move.

If only she knew. Sigh.

**~ooo000ooo~**

When Kakashi had decided to trail Iruka that day after Pakkun's cryptic message, he had a couple of scenarios planned out. One- trailing Iruka, confronting Iruka, confirming said sensei's identity then saving Kakashi's mascu- er, sanity, in that particular order. Or maybe even number two- Kakashi not being able to control his attraction (and his rather nefarious stalking) and asking Iruka out for a date (irregardless of his/her gender), eventually ending with a confession of endless love from Kakashi after being blinded by Kakashi's love. Both scenarios were acceptable in Kakashi's book.

What Kakashi's little genius did NOT expect was: One- following said sensei into the comforts of his/her home, Two- watching said sensei gobble down dinner made for three (Inevitably solving the case of 'Where does Naruto get that appetite from' problem.) and Three- getting an _ohmygodshesnaked_ reaction by following said sensei to the hot springs. Really. Totally unexpected.[

Though in retrospect, inner Kakashi chastised, he should have expected _some_ kind of skin at a hot spring. Just not that much. Or that kind.

_She has nice curves!_

Inner perverted Kakashi quipped, and Kakashi had to pinch his nose to stem the blood lest he suffer dizziness and fall in with the sensei.(Not that he'd actually mind, inner perverted Kakashi thought.)

After waiting for an agonizing forever for Iruka to finish, Kakashi immediately rushed to his apartment for fear that he may just explode from excessive blushing and nose bleeding. Why didn't Iruka tell me she was female! Kakashi lamented this fact.

So for the next couple of weeks, Kakashi deftly avoided anything and everything that had to do with Iruka. Everything.

If Kakashi needed to deliver something to the Academy, he would badger some newly-minted chuunin or a hapless genin to do it. (Lest he encounter Iruka and die via flashbacks.) Or whenever Kakashi had a mission he would _only_ take team missions, hereby avoiding having to personally retrieve the mission details. Also, whenever Kakashi had to file the odd mission report every now and then, he would make sure to write it legibly (Le gasp!) and send it via Naruto to avoid having it sent back.

Unfortunately for Kakashi, the village was conspiring was against him. You see, when a jounin acts crazily different, _everybody_ notices. (Jounin are generally 'bat-shit' crazy, but when they go beyond their 'normal' crazy, people get concerned.) At first, it was only those shifty, beady-eyed looks when they thought he couldn't see. But gradually, these looks became whispers 'till finally it became a full-blown rumor that maybe Kakashi had somehow impregnated Iruka was now avoiding him to prevent himself from taking responsibility. (Again, inner perverted Kakashi did not mind the insinuation, but then he thought about the sanity of the village. After all, the general populace of Konoha knew Iruka was male. And Kakashi was male. Omo. Inner perverted Kakashi decided not to continue this train of thought. Brain vomit much.)

Kakashi realized he had been _way_ too obvious in his 'Avoid-iruka-at-all-costs-to-prevent-death-by-epistaxis' when Naruto had noticed. Naruto!

While Naruto was an 'awesome ninja' as Konohamaru loves to put it, the blonde jinchuuriki was not the most adept in the social department. Heck, Kakashi had a higher EQ than Naruto! (And that's saying something, premature graying and Icha Icha and all.)

When Naruto notices, it won't take long before the mother hen would notice too. (On a side note, Kakashi found it entirely amazing that Iruka wasn't aware of ANY of the 'conspiracy theories' floating around the gossip-vine. Kakashi took solace in that particular oversight.)

Kakashi took a deep breath, locking away both inner and perverted Kakashi in the deepest caverns of his mind as he turned to talk to his most 'prized student'.

(His prized student award used to belong to Sasuke, but when he came back dressed in drag and sporting purple lipstick, Sakura had forcefully and _painfully _stripped him of that 'prized' title and awarded it to Naruto instead. Kakashi stayed _far, far away_ when Sakura had done the 'stripping'. Cue excessive shuddering.)

**~ooo000ooo~**

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!  
>All feedback and criticism will be greatly appreciated and will be replied to.<p>

Luv lots,  
>milkychaitea<br>(-_-)


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Straight

**Author:** milkychaitea

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. Sue me and the plague will descend upon you.

**Warnings: **Gender-bended characters, mentioned slash, abuse of parentheses and tea. Expect ooc-ness since this is a fanfiction. May cause brain fart. Tread carefully.

**Pairing/s:** KakaFem!Iru, mentioned GenRai

**Note:** Any confusion in personal pronouns is intentional. If you are still confused, well- damn you. Just pm me!

**~ooo000ooo~**

**Chapter 4**

"Yo, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto walked up to him, trying and failing to copy Kakashi's lazy walk. He gave him one of his trademark thumbs-up and a grin far too wide for Kakashi's comfort.

"Maa, Naruto-kun, what brings you here?" Kakashi only hoped this approach would work. "Are you looking for some training?" He sounded a tad bit hopeful.

Bingo! Kakashi nearly did a victory chicken dance in the middle of the road as he saw Naruto falter and consider his offer.

"Kakashi-sensei, you really mean it? You'll really- I mean, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto tried to look stern. (And failed.) Bright blonde hair and big blue eyes just weren't meant for the 'stern' look.

"Why have you been avoiding my dear Iruka-sensei all this time? Everyone's told me about it-ttebayo!"

Naruto assumed a you-tell-me-what-is-going-on-because-I-actually-have-no-idea look mixed in with a pout. _Cute. About as effective as a dead rabbit._ Kakashi **hated** those things. It was safe to say the dead rabbit pleading look did not work.

Kakashi stared at his '_prized student'_ incredulously. He should have known that the two most dense people in all of Konoha would not notice his erratic behavior until someone point-blank tells them. I mean, Hinata practically drops dead at the sight of the blonde and he **STILL** thinks Hinata should get checked by the nearest medic-nin. Iruka still thinks that Genma and Raidou are just _really, really _close friends and hasn't even considered that things could progress further. _Much_ _further._

"Look Kakashi-sensei, I don't know why you're avoiding Iruka-sensei but it has to stop!" The blonde emphasized with a stomp of his foot. "I mean- Iruka-sensei will feel hurt once she finds out you're avoiding her."

_You mean IF she finds out._ Wait. WHAT? Her? _She?_

What the hell was going on here?

"... and so you need to take Iruka-sensei out to dinner to prove that you really aren't avoiding her- because as you know, food is the way to Iruka-sensei's heart and- are you paying attention, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto waved his hand over Kakashi's face, effectively making Kakashi focus less on dead rabbits and more on Naruto.

"Tch, don't worry about your image, Kakashi-sensei, I _know_ you know Iruka-sensei is a girl. How you found out, well I don't really want to got through your Icha Icha fantasies so I'll pass. Oh yeah, you'll be meeting Iruka-sensei in front of Ichiraku Ramen next Friday after her shift at the Academy. Hurt her and you'll die-ttebayo!"

And thus left Kakashi gaping like a pucker fish. _Gross mental image_.

**~ooo000ooo~**

Monday and Tuesday flew by without Kakashi giving it much thought, opting for the 'ignorance is bliss' theory.

Wednesday saw him acting a bit skittish, but otherwise relatively normal. _Relatively._

Thursday meanwhile had made him more focused on his Icha Icha, initiating loud and obnoxious remarks from Naruto and a few well hit punches from Sakura. He was still sore and bruising from those.

And Friday?

Friday morning saw him actively trying to fight the urge to Giant Chidori the Hokage Tower with the Godaime Hokage still inside, slash his hitai-ate and run away screaming like a maniac.

(Kakashi considered going like dear ole' daddy, but it seemed way too permanent. He wanted to be able to at least stalk Iruka from afar if needed be. Stalking as a ghost just wasn't exciting enough.)

Unfortunately for him and fortunately for the village (and the Godaime Hokage and her secret stash of sake) Kakashi hadn't done any of those, choosing only to wait patiently for the sensei to arrive. He was dressed not in his usual shinobi gear (finding those utterly inappropriate for a date of such importance) and went instead for a semi-casual/ formal look to highlight his 'manly charms'. Dress to impress, ne?

**~ooo000ooo~**

Any leftover thoughts on 'doing-an-Itachi' otherwise known as running away and pretending to be an evil avenger were gone, fading away like ramen with a hungry Naruto when he sensed the sensei's chakra signature. Light, innocent and sweet; like a virg- like an angel. Simply Iruka.

Kakashi was just fixing his loose necktie when Iruka sauntered into view.

_Holy shit hot mama! Real-life Icha Icha!_ _Bad pervert, bad!_

Inner Kakashi chastised the perverted self.

"Naruto! I don't know why you asked me to dress normally for this 'occasion'! There is nothing special about our regular Ichiraku meetings-" Iruka stopped, sensing a chakra signature that wasn't at all like the vast ocean Naruto's was. The chakra signature felt more like... wet dog. _Kakashi. _

Damn, Iruka realized instantaneously that Naruto had set her up. Quite a feat for the sensei to realize that quickly.

"Kakashi! What on earth are you doing here? Where's Naruto? Is Naruto okay?" She asked rather nervously, fingering her shirt and driving Kakashi's one eye crazy.

The single eye gave Iruka a one-over. She wore a loose-fitting skirt which stopped at her knees and highlighted her _shapely_ legs from years of running around teaching little hell-lions and trying to prevent an explosion larger than Pein from happening. Again. (After one particular year when a feisty pre-genin caused the largest explosion since the founding of Konoha,the Nidaime banned first year pre-genin from handling paper bombs. Unfortunately, the second year pre-genins weren't really any better.) A light colored blouse hugged and accentuated her 'womanly curves' _nicely_. (The perv.)

Iruka finally noticed Kakashi was just staring after a couple of minutes of absolute silence. Following his gaze she surmised that Kakashi was staring at her, or rather, her clothing, belatedly hitting upon the fact that she was, in fact, wearing a skirt.

"Kakashi! This isn't what it looks like! Naruto told me to come dressed like this! I-" She stammered, trying, (and failing) to make her skirt turn into pants somehow. But she wasn't able to continue, Kakashi having clamped his hand over her mouth and giving her one of his trademark one-eyed smiles.

"Lets go." Kya. Kakashi said in his most manly voice, the one Pakkun calls '_swallowed a lemon_'. Iruka nodded dumbly and simply followed.

**~ooo000ooo~**

Though Kakashi was inexperienced in the relationship department (his never-ending fascination with Icha Icha being a sign), he was nevertheless a gentleman, taking Iruka just outside of the village and seating her first.

After the waiter came and delivered their food they lapsed into a comfortable silence, the mood made decidedly romantic by the light of the candlelight. Only the sound of cutlery was heard as they ate, though secretly Iruka was wondering how Kakashi was managing to eat with that mask on.

(Coincidentally, Naruto had once tried to convince Iruka to ask Kakashi to put his mask down, reasoning that using '_womanly curves_' might work since subterfuge obviously doesn't. Iruka vetoed the idea immediately.)

**~ooo000ooo~**

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!  
>All feedback and criticism will be greatly appreciated and will be replied to.<p>

Luv lots,  
>milkychaitea<br>(-_-)


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **Straight

**Author:** milkychaitea

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. Sue me and you will have Beiber songs stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

**Warnings: **Gender-bended characters, mentioned slash, abuse of parentheses and tea. Expect ooc-ness since this is a fanfiction. May cause brain fart. Tread carefully.

**Pairing/s:** KakaFem!Iru, mentioned GenRai

**Note:** Any confusion in personal pronouns is intentional. If you are still confused, well- damn you. Just pm me!

**~ooo000ooo~**

**Chapter 5**

The lovely not-yet-couple-but-soon-to-be was still sitting at the restaurant, with Iruka itching to know just how Kakashi ate with that mask on. But even with her super-mad ninja skills she just couldn't figure out how, and so curiosity killed Pakkun and she just asked.

"Ne Kakashi-san, how can you eat and _still_ have that mask on?" After all, Iruka thought, the food HAD to go somewhere, somehow, in someway.

Kakashi gave a deep, rumbling chuckle that sent shivers down Iruka's spine. He suddenly stopped and went serious, looking at Iruka with his single eye and told her seriously.

"My mad ninja skills." Cue crickets.

Iruka desperately tried to contain her laughter, but it eventually won over and her rich laughter bubbled over, causing Kakashi to smile underneath his mask. After Iruka's laughter died down, an awkward silence ensued, but was thankfully broken by the arrival of dessert. As they partook of the creamy delight, the silence became comfortable and they soon engaged in small talk. The minutes passed and soon the talk turned to masks and disguises. Iruka, being excessively curious (Guess where Naruto gets it from?) at this point, asked Kakashi about his own mask.

"Kakashi-san?"

"Hm?"

"I was just wondering... ?" Iruka gushed, embarrassed at acting like a teenage girl high on hormones.

Kakashi however, had become accustomed to being asked about his masked features, and deciding that there had to be no secrets between husband and wife (He would make sure of that.) he turned around to face her, hand on top of his mask.

"Maa, Iruka, since I know your secret, it's time you learned one of mine." and he pulled down his mask, expecting a reaction similar to Teuchi-san and Ayame's from Ichiraku.

Iruka, however, was different. She looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh, until finally she let out a very feminine giggle.

Kakashi hadn't expected that! Oh man! Maybe the sensei thought he was ugly? Maybe he was ugly! What if his children took after him? At that moment, Kakashi decided, all his children would HAVE to take after Iruka.

Wait, why would Iruka think he was ugly when the gods themselves bestowed such beauty on him?

As if to answer his unvoiced query, Iruka spoke, her voice playful. "No, no Kakashi-san! I do not think you're ugly nor am I making fun of you! I just remembered Naruto's stories about how you probably had buck teeth or oversized pouty lips and I just couldn't help it!" She flushed deep red and bowed slightly as a way of apology.

Kakashi decided he could forgive Naruto for telling Iruka he was ugly as soon as he saw how cute Iruka was embarrassed.

They soon left the restaurant, with Iruka insisting that she pay for the meal, or at least half. But Kakashi, the gentleman that he is, refused to let her pay a singe ryo and dragged her out of the restaurant. They fell into a comfortable silence, with Iruka trailing slightly behind Kakashi.

**~ooo000ooo~**

The breeze was a welcome respite as the night became warmer, Iruka mused. She was rather unsure whether the warmth was simply from the weather or from such close proximity with Kakashi. Iruka decided she would rather remain in the dark.

"Ano, Kakashi-san?" Iruka began, after a bit of silence, "Aren't you mad at me for lying? About my gender, I mean?"

Seeing Iruka look at him with such pitiful eyes made Kakashi nearly have a nosebleed. He wanted to dance the macarena but simply settled for a one-eyed smile instead.

"Maa...Iruka. I'm sure you had your reasons, though you really had me confused for a while there. It wasn't until Pakkun hinted at it...don't worry yourself about it," After all, Kakashi reckoned, husband and wife were supposed to forgive each other. "Though I would like to know why you'd do such a thing, you're very pretty, I-ru-ka." he smiled, with a severely perverted undertone.

Iruka blushed scarlet at Kakashi's compliment and didn't notice the dubious undertone, telling him a little bit about her history while Kakashi was escorting her home.

Iruka took a deep breath, then began telling her tale.

"During the reign of the Nidaime Hokage, there was an incident regarding an orphaned Uchiha female. She was kidnapped from the orphanage and was about to be sold off, but thankfully they managed to rescue her in time. Since then, the Nidaime passed a law that the current Hokage had the power to make any female orphan live as a male for protection until she makes jounin or gets married. The Sandaime," Iruka fought back a tear. "deemed it best if I was put through this. Refugees from the Mist, particularly orphans, aren't taken to very kindly here. Naruto was the same." She walked on steadily ahead, not wanting Kakashi to see tears in her eyes.

Kakashi pondered over this latest piece of information. So there _is _such a law that exists. Makes sense on how Iruka and Naruto got away with it.

Wait.

What? _Naruto?_

Man, Kakashi nearly swore aloud, Hinata likes girls?

(Kakashi sincerely hoped not. Hiashi would scream for blood.)

Fortunately, Iruka stopped him from continuing that train of thought.

"Er, Kakashi-san? I know it may be too much for me to ask, but could you please keep this a secret? I'll be taking the jounin exams in a year or two and I'm sure it won't cause too much harm..."

But Kakashi interjected.

"Maa, Iruka, that will be no trouble at all. Though I do believe that the village will know soon enough."

"Huh?" Eloquently put, Iruka.

Kakashi just gave a deep roaring chuckle that sent shivers down Iruka's spine, but gave no answer. Iruka pondered on it.

"I don't understand though, I'll have to pass the jounin test in two years and even then there is no guarantee that I'll pass. How can that be soon?"

Kakashi just smiled and walked on ahead, forcing Iruka to keep up.

**~ooo000ooo~**

After a few minutes of civilian-speed walking, Kakashi suddenly crept up behind Iruka and positioned his mouth behind her ear.

"Ne, Iruka," Kakashi whispered slowly into her ear, "becoming jounin isn't the _only _way for you to be allowed to wander around as a female, right?"

"But that would mean I'd have to get married, and really that's quite impossible..." but Kakashi cut her off.

"Ne, Iruka?" Kakashi gave her another one-eyed smile.

"Yes?" She blinked, obviously getting confused by Kakashi's abrupt topic changes. A puzzled pout graced her features, which Kakashi found entirely endearing.

"Would you like me to marry you?" He said abruptly, his eye turning serious for once.

"I...WHAT!" She screamed, startling everyone within a ten-mile radius. "But Kakashi-san, I.."

"Let me rephrase that then. Will you let me date you to marry you?"

**~ooo000ooo~**

Kakashi thought that it Iruka blushed any deeper now she would burst. Inner perverted Kakashi decided to relieve the poor sensei out of her current distress, suggesting a kiss. For now.

Both Kakashi's agreed.

So he kissed her.

And Iruka promptly fainted.

Inner perverted Kakashi's head swam at the possibilities. Kakashi warned him not to get too many ideas. Inner perverted Kakashi said it was okay as long as they got married soon.

Kakashi simply shrugged and thanked his lucky stars he would never have to bottom.

**~ooo000ooo~**

Owari.

(Almost.)

**~ooo000ooo~**

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!  
>All feedback and criticism will be greatly appreciated and will be replied to.<p>

Luv lots,  
>milkychaitea<br>(-_-)


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: **Straight

**Author:** milkychaitea

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. Sue me and you will meet Hades very soon.

**Warnings: **Gender-bended characters, mentioned slash, abuse of parentheses and tea. Expect ooc-ness since this is a fanfiction. May cause brain fart. Tread carefully.

**Pairing/s:** KakaFem!Iru, mentioned GenRai

**Note:** Any confusion in personal pronouns is intentional. If you are still confused, well- damn you. Just pm me!

**~ooo000ooo~**

**Chapter 6**

"Congratulations, Iruka-san! You sure chose well!"

"Iruka-sensei! Don't forget to invite us, okay?"

"My my my! my dear Iruka all grown up! I'm so excited!"

"Iruka! It sure is high time you settled down! Old women like me feel much better seeing today's youth settle down instead of going on missions all the time."

Iruka politely inclined her head after the n-th or so person that had come up to her to offer some sort of congratulations for something. But what?

Iruka had spent a great portion of her morning pondering this.

She hadn't done anything amazing in the last few weeks, (Managing little hell-spawns of Satan himself wasn't really an amazing thing in Iruka's book. Though ninety-eight percent of the chuunin population and anybody who had ever stepped foot inside the Academy would say otherwise.)

She hadn't gone on any high ranking missions either, so she was stumped as to what could have caused more than half the population of Konoha to come in droves just to see her.

It was just plain confusing!

With all the pondering that was going on in Iruka's mind, she paid no heed to where she was going, and ended up bumping against somebody.

_Oomph!_

Large, warm hands gently took hold and prevented Iruka from face-planting. She splayed her hands out in front of her to gain her footing and came into contact with a lean, muscular chest. Iruka blushed furiously as she imagined running into the Hatake Kakashi.

Normally, Iruka paid no heed to the little voice inside her head that kept playing on repeat _'Handsome Male Alert! Handsome Male Alert!'_ every time she passed Naruto's genin teacher, but due to _recent_ events, it simply made it quite impossible for her to completely ignore the voice entirely.

Kakashi's hands on her shoulder, his warm breath, the white chakra that Iruka found oddly addicting...

NO!

Iruka chastised herself. It was bad enough that she had spent most of her morning reminiscing about her date -er dinner-outing-with-a-male-friend last night, she had bumped into the very same man plaguing her thoughts! As the memories of the not-date flew by Iruka's brain, _Kakashi's clothes, his ultra-sexy voice, the way he held my hands-_ STOP!

(Although Iruka found it extremely odd that her memories after the dinner at the restaurant were sketchy at best. Some thing about a propo-something... something. Oh well. If it was important then it will come back.)

"Iruka-sensei?" Iruka shuddered at the voice, realizing some things were just figments of her imagination. "Are you alright?"

Iruka tried to stall for time, but eventually she had to look up. If Naruto's bright orange jumpsuit was bad, this was worse. Much worse. Iruka never did think that green could be so goddamn blinding.

"THE FLAMES OF YOUTH BURN EVER SO BRIGHTLY!" Iruka cringed at the Green Beast of Konoha. Nice as Gai-san was, it was just too much enthusiasm in one package. Even Naruto wasn't that exuberant.

"MY DEAR RIVAL KAKASHI HAS FINALLY FOUND SOMOEBODY TO SHARE HIS INNERMOST THOUGHTS AND THAT IT IS SOMEBODY AS SWEET AS YOU, MY DEAR IRUKA -SENSEI!"

Gai was about to make a grab for the sensei but years of teaching experience kicked in and she simply sidestepped, making Gai hug empty air instead. Iruka thought that might dissuade Gai from grabbing her again, but instead he sprouted another sunset and exclaimed rather loudly.

"MY DEAR IRUKA-SENSEI HAS REFUSED MY YOUTH! MY DEAR RIVAL KAKASHI HAS FOUND A LOYAL COMPANION AND HAS BEATEN ME ONCE AGAIN! I SHALL NOW TRY TO FIND ONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS IRUKA-SENSEI AND BEAT MY EVER YOUTHFUL RIVAL!"

He tried to make another grab for Iruka, this time going for her hand in an attempt to kiss it, but Iruka quickly retracted it, bracing it against her chest for dear life.

"Ah- er, thank you, Gai-san. But why are you here?" She asked.

Wrong move.

"THE FLAMES OF YOUTH BURN BRIGHTL-"

"Gai-san! I think I see Kakashi over there!" She quickly exclaimed, trying to stop another sunset from materializing. "Quickly, before he escapes!"

She pointed frantically at a general direction that would take Gai far, _far_ away. Gai looked at her, completely confused until she elaborated.

"Gai-san, Kakashi went that way-" She pointed again. "- I think. So if you want to challenge him, you should go, now." She urged him. Patient as she was, green beasts were not part of her resume.

Gai seemed to consider this for a while, and to Iruka's great relief, he just sprouted another sunset and roe off into the distance. Thank god for small mercies.

Realizing that the little episode with Gai had taken time off her, if she didn't rush, she would be late for her monthly Academy reports with Tsunade. She needed to know who was high risk (Iruka was actually the one who suggested the Sasu-Naru-Saku trio, and with it's current success, she was now dealing with the current Hokage to plan future squads for maximum benefit.)

An odd note had been sent to her in the morning by an extremely skittish Anbu, who refused to say anything about the note and kept muttering '_green pandas'_ over and over again.

Looking over the note written in Tsunade's horrible (and most likely drunken) scrawl, all she could decipher was a few important words...

_...kage Tower..._

_...important meeting..._

_...as soon as possible..._

_...bring your husband..._

Whoa, wait.

Bring your husband?

Did Lady Tsunade raid the bars again?

(Iruka sincerely hoped not. The last time that happened all Hokage duties were pawned off to her. Which was why Ibiki and Anko were still not stepping foot inside the Hokage Tower till now.)

**~ooo000ooo~**

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!  
>All feedback and criticism will be greatly appreciated and will be replied to.<p>

Luv lots,  
>milkychaitea<br>(-_-)


End file.
